yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
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