my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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