if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
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