when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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