I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
