how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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