the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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