It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
