Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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