Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Randomize
