i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
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