So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
