good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Randomize
