Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
