There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Pappa wants mamma naked
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
