Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Life is so much better after having sex.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
