Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
nutella sex= disaster
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
