his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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