ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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