they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
Randomize
