I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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