i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Why can't burritos get me drunk
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
