The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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