I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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