Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
All I want is dick and wine.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
