he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
