I'm really into asian looking animals
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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