forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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