Soap is not a condiment
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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