No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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