I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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