my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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