we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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