Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
