I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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