I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Brb crying the tears of my youth
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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