Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize