I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
