She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
