Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
