How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize