She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
