do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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