i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
