i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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