I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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