I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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