I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
