Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize
