so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
