Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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