So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
