i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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