I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Randomize
