so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
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