Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
