I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Randomize
