i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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