and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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