I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
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