I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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