So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
My life is pants optional.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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