Don't you send me to vm
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
