but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Green mimosas i think yes
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
