seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
