Whats the glycemic index on semen?
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Randomize
