i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
