id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
