ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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